Quotes from Owen

Calum: I’m going to the shop.
Me: Actually i could do with some crisps.
Owen: Yea i could do with some cum… WAIT NO NOT CUM. 

Owen: Can i have a whack of the caramel crack?

lianna: please can we get a kitten?
hope: no, we cant. where would we even put a kitten?
owen: in a bowl? 

owen: whats that smell?
me: probably my fart?
owen: it smells like an industrial canoe factory. 

owen: this new hair stuff is so awesome.
me: okay but your hair looks the same.
owen: i haven’t put it in my hair yet. 

discussing trans

Owen: like a bombay mix of gender.

Owen: hey hope, hows the snow in portsmouth? OH WAIT YOU DONT HAVE ANY!!!!
Me: dickhead. 

me: owen will you please knock, i could have been naked!
owen: we coulda had a bit of a nip flick going on! 

Me:what? sit on my lap?
owen: no, sit on your lap, so you can see me playing with it. 

me: no, sorry i dont believe you.
owen: well you don’t believe in much, so carry on not believing me.